2005 Minivan Comparison

Let'S Be Bold here and assume you're secure in your manhood; that you can forget about going to Las Vegas in a Lincoln Town Car, because that's what everyone else is driving; and that you've grown out of spelunking from casino to casino in the greasy back seat of a clapped-out Crown Vic cab. With all apologies to recently departed gonzo journalist Hunter S. Thompson, we're here to tell you that a minivan is a great way to go to cash in on the American Dream.

First off, you sit up higher in a minivan than Thompson did in the Great Red Shark, but not too high, and you've plenty of glass area to take in the desert panorama. A minivan's den mother persona also makes it an excellent cloaking device (it's almost invisible to the cops); good for cruising at the extra 10 mph you'd never get away with in a flashy car or SUV. Need to stash those keno cards, poker decks, and casino chips? Try the juicebox holders. A minivan rides like a car, handles pretty much as a car would, and gets carlike fuel mileage. And, thanks to dual sliding doors (they don't pivot outward like an SUV's), no need to worry about dinging the car next door when squeezing into a tight parking space. Besides, when's the last time you've heard of a minivan rolling over?

After a couple weeks evaluating today's three best-selling minivans--Dodge Grand Caravan SXT, Toyota Sienna XLE, and Honda Odyssey Touring--in their native suburbia, we retraced the route of Raoul Duke and Dr. Gonzo from our Los Angeles offices to the nights and lights of Las Vegas on the prowl for neon new and old and the ever-elusive $2.99 shrimp cocktail. The vans proved handy as mobile dressing rooms for showgirls in expansive headdresses, and grocery bag hooks functioned well as unmentionables hangers. Illuminated vanity mirrors got an eyeful, and, if oohs and aahs were any indication, the flip-and-fold seats amazed strip-revelers almost as much as the live circus acts at our hotel. Through it all, we remained secure in the premise that what happens in a minivan stays in a minivan (especially with all this storage).

Dodge may not have exactly invented the minivan during Reagan's first term, but its parent, Chrysler Corporation, was the first to popularize the concept using some creative front-drive packaging. That was some 10 million Chrysler-built minivans ago, and Dodge has been the best-selling minivan nameplate since then. For 2005, Dodge offers a package that's perhaps even more innovative than the Blue Man Group: Stow N' Go seating for the second- and third-row seats (standard on all but the lowest-priced Grand Caravan models). It basically allows the second- and third-row seats to be stowed away under the floor when they're not necessary, eliminating the need to remove the heavy, cumbersome seats and find space in the garage to store them. With the seats in the up position, the seat storage wells may be used to stow a lot of items--purse, laptop computer, camera, or even a headdress--out of sight. The underfloor compartments are nearly a foot deep and add a whopping 12 cubic feet of storage capacity. That's more than what's available in the trunks of many compact sedans.