2005 BMW M3 Competition Package

It'll haunt you, the new BMW M3 Competition Package. Haunt you, and taunt you. You'll drive it knowing that, with the V-8 powered E90 M3 in the works, it's possibly the last in a line of ultra-high-performance six-cylinder BMW coupes that stretches back to 1972 and the storied 3.0 CSL. And you'll come away wondering why America once again gets decaf; why we're just allowed a sniff of the Euro-spec M3 CSL rather than the doppio espresso version, with its carbon-fiber roof, stripped interior, and headbanging 360-horsepower (DIN) straight-six. They think we're soft or something?

Actually, BMW says the cost of certifying the high-power engine for the U.S. simply wouldn't be justified given the expected sales volume. Plus there's the cost of that trick carbon-fiber roof. The M3 CSL sells at a 45-percent premium over the regular M3 coupe in Europe: Translate that to this market, and you'd be looking at an eye-watering $21,597 increase in the sticker.

So, the Competition Package is a $4000 option that gives you the bigger brakes and quicker steering from the M3 CSL, plus tweaked suspension and the M Track Mode version of BMW's Dynamic Stability Control. You also get 19-inch cross-spoke forged alloys all around, a race-face steering wheel trimmed in Alcantara suede, and aluminum that at least looks lighter than wood. Oh, and there's a new color--Interlagos Blue--that's available only when you tick the Competition Pack option code. It's all nice stuff. But it's still like getting Halle Berry's swimsuit--minus Halle Berry.

Like most movie divas, though, the full-strength M3 CSL is a handful. I last drove one on the fast, sweeping, open roads that hump and jink across the evergreen hills and valleys of Wales and stepped out of it with the adrenaline still tingling in my fingertips. It had the SMG sequential-shift transmission (an option not fitted to our tester) and Michelin Pilot Sport Cup tires that were little more than race slicks with a couple of shallow grooves across their surface to keep the cops happy. It was loud and fast and, when the tires were hot, lunged into corners hard enough to part your hair.

On a smooth road, the M3 CSL could stay with a Ferrari 360 Challenge Stradale and Porsche GT3--no mean feat for a sedan-based coupe. Throw a few bumps into the equation, however, and the back end would start niggling like a psychotic Labrador--playful, but just one wrong move away from savaging you--and you suddenly wished the steering were less of an on/off switch. You need deep commitment and cojones the size of coconuts to extract the last tenth out of it.